Hello everybody. I had a question through LW’s blog from MsLeftie about my school years. What did I study and al the stuff around that I will post here today. It started all a year earlier, in 2008. I left my mom to live with LW and BF back then. I found a nice job at a supply chain near big city close by were we are living. I loved it there. They paid me well and the colleague’s were nice. But… after a year they told me they did not want to prolong my contract and that I had to go. This is where it all started.
….I am gay!
So what right?? I agree, but not everybody is this open minded. But it’s not only that. What’s going on in my mind. Am I gay or not?
I have been putting a lot of time into a big, big post which I never posted and I never will. This because all that’s written in there has happened. Things has been said and done and there is just no point of posting it now because it’s would be a waste of time to read it. So now I am writing a new post. A post I will post. The point with the other post was that I did not have the feeling it was finished and I did not have the courage to post it. But with this one I will. It’s about what to do. Retreat, fight of wait. The three of us had an conversation about the whole relationship thing. It was hard… but so damn necessary.
I am wondering. What is love? What is the difference between loving somebody and caring for somebody. Can you say: “I love you” to a person you just care about. In the same way you say “I love you” to a person you really love?
Today I had my appointment with the orthopedist at the hospital in Boxmeer. I am having pain for the last 4 to 5 weeks. The pain is in my left hand. Because of the pain I can’t use my hand a lot. Well, I can use it but it gives me a lot of pain.
I started reading the second chapter of “when someone you love is Bipolar”. It’s called: “What you can expect; the course of Bipolar illness. I put it aside for a while but Wallflower kept on asking me when I was going to read more. I can only read it when it’s quiet and nobody is around. Well… except the dog (and in this case dogs). So here we go again. I have to go to work this afternoon so I hope I can read another chapter before I have to leave but well… I can’t promise anything.